October 2022 Wrap Up

October is usually the best month, right? I love autumn and Halloween. And of course, Kevin's and my 1st anniversary!

Kevin and I did some fun things. We did a haunted Halloween cookie house together while watching Halloween movies. We went to a local pumpkin patch that we have gone to the past few years. It is very cute and has games and things around. Of course we took home a couple of pumpkins.

Last Friday, we had a virtual Halloween party with my friends in Colorado. They set up on Zoom so the couple of us that live out of state could be part of it. It was fun and nice to see everyone. Then on Saturday we went to Boo at the Zoo. It is mostly for kids, but we still had a good time. They had some fun decorations and games and things.

The sad part about this month was that we lost Poseidon. We had an emergency vet visit earlier in the month and they found that he had pneumonia. We tried a couple of antibiotics with no luck, but he was still chipper and eating. Eventually, we were thinking we would need to take him in soon to have him put to sleep because he had mostly stopped eating and was having a harder time breathing and getting around. But that night he passed away on his own. I had spent a lot of time with him that evening because I felt like we were getting closer to the end. I hope that he didn't suffer much. I checked on him right before I went to bed around 11. When Kevin came to bed around 2:30am, I woke up and asked about Poseidon and he told me that he had passed. I wish I had been with him though. He was my oldest rat, nearly 3 1/2 years old. I miss him so much. Our vet kept saying that he was her favorite rat. When I took him over to be cremated, the front desk staff knew us and were very sweet and sympathetic. And they knew that our vet would be sad and they went to get her. She came out to see me and gave me the very best hug and cried with me. I miss my bright-eyed boy. I always called him my precious and my pill and he was so sweet and cute.

In other good news, I got my hair done. Kevin took me to see Moonage Daydream a while back and I was thinking that I really liked David Bowie's hair in his Thin White Duke and the Man Who Fell to Earth days. So I asked my hairstylist to use that for inspiration. I love it. I posted a photo on my Instagram if you haven't seen it.

I read more books this last month than I thought I would. I will keep my reviews very brief.

Title: The Graveyard Book

Author: Neil Gaiman

Narrator: Neil Gaiman

 

Synopsis/Thoughts: I don't think I need to keep reviewing this book. I love it very much and I read it every year and I never fail to cry at the end.

 

Rating: 5 stars out of 5 stars 

Title: Ghostland: An American History in Haunted Places

Author: Colin Dickey

Narrator: Jon Lindstrom

 

Synopsis: A historical look at haunted places and what makes them haunted.

 

Thoughts: This was a good read if you like history, which I do. The author visits a few places so you get some first-hand view points. He also talks about what makes places haunted in the minds of people.

 

Rating: 4 stars out of 5 stars 

 

Title: The Dead Romantics

Author: Ashley Poston

Narrator: Eileen Stevens

 

Synopsis: Florence is a ghost writer for a famous romance author, but after a terrible break up, she can't seem to find the romantic inspiration she needs to finish a series. Her (handsome) new editor demands the document ASAP, even as she is called away after the death of her father. Oh, and she can see ghosts.

 

Thoughts: I didn't really know what to expect and I definitely guessed what was happening early on. But I enjoyed it more than I expected to. It was a nice read and I plan to re-read it in the future.

 

Rating: 4 stars out of 5 stars 

Title: I Choose Darkness

Author: Jenny Lawson

Narrator: Jenny Lawson

Synopsis: A short essay about why Jenny Lawson loves Halloween and spooky things.

Thoughts: In general, I enjoy Jenny Lawson's books. This was a very short listen, only about 30 minutes or so. And it was enjoyable.

Rating: 4 stars out of 5 stars

Title: Dracula

Author: Bram Stoker

Narrators: Greg Wise and others

 

Synopsis/Thoughts: I have read/listened to this several times. I don't think I need to say much about it. I always enjoy this book. I love that it is written in diary entries, letters, and such things. Great classic.

 

Rating: 4 stars out of 5 stars

Title: Gallant

Author: V. E. Schwab

 

Synopsis: Olivia never knew her parents, all she has is her mother's old journal. Until she gets a letter inviting her to her ancestral home. The one her mother warned her to stay away from.

 

Thoughts: This may not be my favorite of her books, but I did really enjoy it. The fact that Olivia couldn't speak and could see ghouls was interesting. There were a few parts that creeped me out, perfect for Halloween.

 

Rating: 4 stars out of 5 stars

Titles: Sandry's Book and Tris's Book

Author: Tamora Pierce

 

Synopsis/Thoughts: These are the first two books in the Circle of Magic series. They are comfort reads for me and I always enjoy them.

 

Rating: 4 stars out of 5 stars 

Title: The Ghost and Mrs. Muir

Author: Josephine Leslie (Pseudonym: R. A. Dick)

Narrator: Elizabeth Jasicki

Synopsis/Thoughts: Another book I have read many times over. I love this book. Maybe not very spooky, but wonderful.

Rating: 5 stars out of 5 stars

Title: All These Bodies

Author: Kendare Blake

Narrator: Matt Godfrey

 

Synopsis: A series of murders in the 1950s comes to a small town. The strange thing is that all the bodies found are drained of blood. In this small town, they have their first suspect. A girl found at the scene of the crime, drenched in the blood of the murdered family.

 

Thoughts: There were some parts of this book that spooked me. And I would like a sequel because of the ending. But I definitely enjoyed it and thought about it when I wasn't reading/listening.

 

Rating: 3 1/2 stars out of 5 stars 

Title: The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches

Author: Sangu Mandanna

Narrator: Samara MacLaren

 

Synopsis: Mika is part of a group (a very secret society, if you ask her) of witches. Being a witch means witches are not supposed to gather for too long and they must keep their magic separate. But Mika gets a job offer that breaks all the rules, but one that she is just right for.

 

Thoughts: This was a last minute addition to my spooky reads. It was very sweet and cute. I enjoyed it. If you like found families, it is worth a read.

 

Rating: 4 stars out of 5 stars

 

 

Favorite book read this month: Besides the Graveyard Book and the Ghost and Mrs. Muir? I really enjoyed the Dead Romantics and the Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches

Least favorite book read this month: All These Bodies, only because it had the lowest rating. I did enjoy it.

I have now read 75 books and my goal was 60. So that's good.

I hope everyone had a lovely October and a great Halloween!

And Then There Were None

Today my little Remus died. It was very sudden and unexpected. He had been doing really well and acting normally. His appetite was still good and he was still lively and playful. I am not sure if it was a seizure, heart attack, stroke, or what, but it was fast and a little scary. But it was over quickly.

I took this picture of him today, shortly before his episode. I was telling him that he was going to be my witch's familiar for Halloween. He looked unimpressed.

The attack or whatever happened very quickly, but I called the vet to tell them we were coming in because he was having trouble breathing right after. He had stopped breathing by the time my shoes were on, but I ran him to the vet anyway. There was nothing they could do. I was able to say goodbye to him and he will be sent to be cremated.

Such an unhappy, wet rat. But cute.

It's so sad that such great little creatures live so short a time. Despite that, I love little animals and I hope that I will be able to have more rats again one day. It's hard not to fall in love and become a rat person.

Sometimes Remus just wanted to be with me.

I think I will miss talking to Remus the most, followed shortly by cuddling with him (though he was not always much of a cuddler), and sharing my food. Who will I share my food with now? I always give him a little tortilla in the mornings and a little bread when I make sandwiches. I always share my fruit and veggies with him and I loved it when he climbed all over me to try to get to my food.

It was so surprising that I think it will take a while to sink in. Everything was sudden and fast. I am so sad and heartbroken. The first thing I said when he was fading was, "I'm not ready." But I guess that's silly--who is ready to lose someone? I just thought I had more time with him.

I hope my boys are reunited, at least.

What I wouldn't give to share my food with him again. I miss my rats so much. Love you, little Remus.

Missing Romulus

Today I am really struggling with missing Romulus.

His memory is still so vivid that it is hard for me to comprehend him never being here again. How can he not be here when I can see him so clearly in my mind? If he were on the couch with me right now, I know exactly what he would be doing and where he would be going and where he would curl up to nap. And it's hard for me not to imagine him being here when we have been in this exact spot so many times before.

But there won't be anymore cuddles, licks, pictures, games, snacks, naps, and shenanigans. He was the best at getting into everything that I didn't want him to get into. And when I held him and scolded him, he knew I'd let him go if he reached out and licked my nose. Made my heart melt every time. I miss that. But I miss everything.

The vet called a few days ago for me to come pick up his ashes. And after three days, I still can't bring myself to drive all the way down there and walk through those doors again. It might make it all too real, and I can't decide if that is good or bad. I do know that it will hurt either way. That place is part of what made losing him so surreal. I never went to that office before, but ended up there three times in one week. The first time, my vet didn't have anyone available so they recommended I take him to this place to be checked out. A week later, I was rushing Romulus to their 24 hour emergency room at almost 9pm. I didn't leave until after 11pm. The next morning I went back to say good-bye. So the whole situation and the place don't seem quite real in my mind. I'm afraid to go back because it makes it all real again. And I'm not sure if that will help me come to terms with his loss or just make it worse.

His second birthday is two days away. I will have to do a little something for Remus, but it makes me feel Romulus' loss that much more.

My little heart is still so broken and there is not much that I wouldn't give to have him back. I know time will dull the ache and ease the pain. But for now, it still hurts and I still have to remember and cry. And apparently avoid that vet office. Maybe I will find some courage and go later. Seems better than going on his birthday, which is my next day off. Definitely not a good birthday chore.

Missing My Rat

Yesterday I had to put down Romulus. He got a respiratory infection, but his symptoms did not seem to indicate that. So I waited too long to bring him into the vet. We got him started on antibiotics and after several days, they weren't working, but I thought they just needed more time. So I didn't take him in until he was having severe trouble breathing (suddenly). I rushed him to the emergency room, crying and panicked. I kept him on my lap and basically refused to let go of him until someone finally came to put him into an oxygen box. That seemed to help and we added an antibiotic.

The next day he was struggling to breathe, even with the oxygen. Despite the care and drugs and oxygen, he was fading quickly. I had to make the horrible decision to put him down because I didn't want him to suffer anymore and there wasn't a chance of him getting better.

I feel like that was the right decision, even though it was a big one and I felt like I really shouldn't be the one to decide that. But it's hard. And my heart is broken.

The whole 24 hours or so seemed so surreal. I spent so much time in the ER waiting room and exam rooms and Romulus faded so, so quickly. It all happened so fast that I didn't get time to really adjust to his life ending and him being gone from my life. Usually when pets age, they decline slowly and you have time to prepare.

I put him down exactly two weeks before his second birthday. He didn't even make it to his second birthday. And that just seems horribly unfair. And I actually feel angry. I am used to my pets living a pretty long time and he should have had at least another year. So I can't help but feel that he is supposed to be here. I still expect him to be here. He was so cheerful and loving all the time, even when he wasn't feeling well (which is probably part of why I didn't realize how sick he was earlier). It is very hard for me to see my life without him. It was too sudden. And I know life isn't fair, but this seems so cruel.

To top it off, I feel horrible for Remus. He has always been with his brother. And I can tell that he is OK, but kind of mopey. I think it will be hard for him. And I feel like I should look into getting him a buddy (after some time), but he is really going to have to be the right rat. Romulus was SO easy-going and happy. Remus is sweet, but neurotic, anxious, and the dominant rat. I am pretty sure the only reason he was dominant is because Romulus let him and didn't care enough to fight for it. I would have to find a rat that would fit with him. Remus is kind of anti-social; its possible he will be OK on his own, but I don't want him to be sad and lonely.

Romulus and his little "meeps" when he was getting into trouble.

I keep expecting Romulus to be here. I miss him licking me all the time and playing with me. He was always the social one who wanted to come out and run around and be in the middle of everything. I will miss him trying to help himself to my food and drinks (Remus is too polite for that, the sweetie). I just miss him with an acute ache that makes my stomach tighten and my heart hurt. And I cry a lot. Sometimes randomly when a thought sneaks up on me. I also haven't been sleeping very well. I lay there for hours and just think about him. I feel lost without him.

 

Romulus kisses.

I'm glad I still have Remus and he still has me. I make him come out and sit and cuddle with me more (which he tolerates pretty well--he's not much of a cuddler). It's going to take a while for me to bounce back from this one. I try to keep myself distracted, otherwise I just cry all of the time. He was the best rat and he is sorely missed.