Wednesday, July 15, 2015

A New Chapter

We have come to a sad ending in the last chapter of my life. My boyfriend (and fiancé) of 9 years and I broke up. It has been very hard and I am heartbroken, but comforted by our amicable split which allows us to still help and support each other, my family (who really stepped up to the plate for me) and my friends who have always been amazing at cheering me up.

It's been occasionally stressful because our lives are so very intertwined (which was so easy to do) that it is hard to separate them again. We own so much jointly, we have joint money, joint bills, joint possessions.

Again, I felt overwhelmed by the idea of packing and moving again because I am so very sick of doing that and I thought that this would be my home for many years to come. Plus, this was my home and I put a lot of work and thought into it, too. It's hard to lose that. (Conversely, I think it would be hard for me to stay here because everything reminds me of Isaac).

I am getting better. I know that, one day, I will be OK. That helps. It feels like way too much right now, and I am still so emotional, hurt, angry, stressed, et cetera that sometimes it is hard to remember that. But my appetite has already started to come back a little and I am sleeping a bit better. My crying sessions (of which there are many, about things as trivial as towels to things as big as finding a new place to live) are becoming fewer and farther between (generally). That's also a relief. Even after the first day, I was tired of crying and hurting. It is nice to have a little relief from that, even if I am still a little bit of a mess. But I will survive this and one day I will be OK again.

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