Wednesday, December 31, 2014

A New Year, A New Year's Resolution

Last year, I had a couple of goals. One was to read 38 books. I managed to surpass my goal. (I highly recommend Goodreads to my friends who like to read. They keep track of goals, books, ratings, and make recommendations.)

I also said that I wanted to continue to work out and improve my financial situation.

I worked out fairly regularly up until I ran the BolderBoulder, which hurt my ankles pretty badly. I was out of commission for nearly three months. I have done little since then. I count that as a fail...

Financially speaking, I am doing much better. Some of that has to do with getting a better job, but also habit and necessity. I have to pay health insurance and my student loans came due a couple of months ago. I have nearly paid off my credit card debt! I feel pretty good about my financial standing right now (even though I am still very much in debt).

Next year will be a little different. Mainly, I have not been feeling very good about myself. There are numerous reasons for this, and I will not go into all the details. Part of it is my physical appearance, but a good portion of it actually my self-esteem and self-confidence. I had a short period of a few days before my birthday where I felt very consumed by self-doubt and inadequacy. And then I did some research. And I created a plan. I want to include some of these things only because I think it might benefit other people.

I searched for and read articles about things like body image and self-esteem issues. After gathering enough information to feel like I had a grasp on what was going on, I wrote things down.

First of all, I realize that there are some things about me and my appearance that I cannot change. And I need to come to terms with that. Some days are better than others. So I wrote down some of the things that I CAN change. Mainly, that I wanted to have regular exercise. I plan to get some sort of gym membership and start running again and working out. Despite what people may think, I am not concerned about my weight nor will I ever have an eating disorder (because I love food!). I know it will help with toning and strength. Plus, a healthy body is a happy body!

Then I wrote down good things about myself and my body. Overall, I am healthy. There are many things that my body does and can do for me, et cetera. In almost every article I read, they made this suggestion so that you realize that your body is important and it does do so many good things. Plus, I am proud of my education and my self respect and sensitivity. I wrote that I am lucky because I have tons of loving and supportive people around me. And that makes me feel good. I also wrote down things I liked about my appearance. It is good to keep in mind that not everything is "bad" (I use that term loosely, because nothing should be bad).

Then I wrote down what I can and will address and how. I also wrote down the things I need to come to terms with.

Lastly, I did a section about why a good self-image and self-esteem is important to me. I hope that this will help keep me on the right track.

I made sure to leave space to write more, because as I go through these processes, I hope to fill out more things that I like about myself and my image.

There is a bigger picture here, but this seems to be the root of my problems, and I feel like this is where I need to start in order to make things good for me (and the people around me). I know that is vague, but my over all problems are very complicated, deeply layered, and personal. And I'm not sure I'm quite up to sharing. The point is, there are things I can do to change my attitude, and that is my goal. I hope that others with similar issues may find help in this post. I will say, just doing the research and writing everything out and making a plan helps me feel better because I feel like I am actually in control. Small steps!

Aside from this, I want to read more. My goal will be 40 books. I want to craft more and blog more. I will continue to look for a career in my field. I will spend time with the people I love. I will continue to better my financial situation.

Good luck to everyone in the new year and good luck setting and completing goals of your own!

I hope all of you have a very happy New Year!

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