Monday, February 8, 2016

Dealing With Loneliness

Lately, I have been struggling with loneliness.

I felt that I had actually been doing OK up until about Wednesday. Wednesday was my night off and I decided to go out for some coffee. By myself, which is not so unusual. But it suddenly hit me that I am nearly always alone.

I am a person who likes my alone time, which has helped me during the break up. But I don't like being alone all the time. I went out, realizing that I was going out alone. Again. And for some reason, I couldn't shake it. (It was also a bit on the late side for most of my friends on a weekday).

I no longer have a standing dinner date, lunch date, coffee date, drink date. My friends all are very busy people and I haven't seen them often lately, which I know doesn't help my mood and mentality.

A couple of nights later, it seemed like everyone I had contact with (that being my mom and my coworkers mostly) had a date night this weekend or a fun get together planned. And I was so heartbroken that I don't have anyone to plan a date with. No one will grab lunch with me or make dinner for me, just to be nice. And I felt so left out. I go out and it's always dinner for one. Just one beer, please.

I don't have anyone to tell the details about my day, like I used to. And I have been sick and mopey because there isn't anyone who wants to help take care of me. Maybe that's selfish. It's just hard because I used to have that.

No one to talk to when I get home, to cuddle up and watch a movie with. I miss being hugged and held and I miss feeling that kind of love.

So I suppose that "dealing" with loneliness is misleading, since I don't seem to be dealing well at all. And as always, when I am feeling upset, I have dreams about my ex and about the break up which always make things worse.

I also got un-invited to a Super Bowl gathering because I'm sick. I get it, but that was disheartening. I felt too sick and tired to deal with a large crowd, so I didn't end up going anywhere else, either.

I guess I've just been so down and sad these last several days. I seriously hope that it will pass soon. I still hate the sad days the most. I will be attempting to drown my sorrows in my books if anyone needs me.

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing your story! Loneliness can sound familiar for a lot of people and communication and nice conversations with friends are the things that can help you to deal with that. I’d like to recommend you online video chat at Coomeet. Here you can meet a lot of interesting girls to make friends with and in case you’re feeling lonely or bored you can always have a friend to talk to.

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