I wasn't sure when I wanted to share this post, but Mother's Day seemed appropriate.
I wanted to share this because it was a big deal for us. I alluded to some of this about a year ago, but wasn't up to sharing yet.
Our close friends and family know, but I will share with everyone now that it is all in the rear-view mirror for us.
We were having difficulty conceiving. It was very discouraging and frustrating. I think it made me a little depressed for a while there. (That is actually why I was listening to Boyfriend Material ad nauseam last year; I found it funny, light, and comforting so I just kept re-listening to it over and over and over.) After a some time, we were referred to a fertility clinic in our area.
We had some testing done and I had to go through some procedures to see if any issues could be identified (nothing obvious was found). In the end, we had an IUI (inter-uterine insemination) done. We are some of the lucky ones because that procedure worked for us and worked the first time. We didn't get a solid answer as to why we were unable to conceive on our own, but top suspect was the normal timing of my cycles. I had long cycles, but my ovulation came late in my cycles and may not have been giving my body enough time for an embryo to implant before menstruation started. Sorry if that is TMI, but I wanted to share for others who may have a similar problem.
I wasn't ready to talk about all of this until we made it through. I guess I felt like I might jinx it.
But I knew that I wanted to share because it was difficult and isolating. I think a lot of people who go through these things feel like they are alone in their journey. And that just isn't true. There are so many people who need to use fertility services for one reason or another. It seems like everything online is meant to look picture perfect, like no one has problems like this, but that isn't real. So if there is anyone reading this who has gone through or is going through something similar, know that you aren't alone. And just because people don't talk about it doesn't mean it isn't happening.
I was lucky. While I felt really discouraged and down for many months, I had good support from family and friends (some of whom had or were having similar experiences). That helped me a lot, to have all of that love and support. I know not everyone has that, either. Which makes it even more important (in my opinion) to share these stories and provide support and maybe some hope.
Thank you for letting me share. And know that I am here if anyone is going through this and would like someone to talk to.
Gabriel ~1 week old in the first onesie we were given. It came from the fertility clinic we were at once we had confirmed pregnancy. |
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